Horseback riding along the beach? Giddy-up!

One of those clear-bottomed cabins in Bora Bora over the water? Sign me up.

2-week Mediterranean cruise? Yes please.

Dinner at a fancy restaurant? Yum!

All great adventures.

But those take time. And a lot of money.

Time and money that most people don't have.

So here are 7 suggestions for you to show your wife some love without breaking the bank.

These are 7 things you can do today.

Each of them takes no money and very little time. Only one of them takes you away from your kids.

(DISCLAIMER: If your wife brings up going on a cruise and you suggest one of these things instead as a suitable substitute, you may want to quickly duck and cover. These aren't meant to be “substitutes.” They're “in-between-stitutes.” As in, these are things to do “in between” events. These are things to do in your “real-world.” You spend way more time “in between” fancy or “big” events than you ever will on cruises or a horse. Don't waste that time just waiting for the next big thing.  Hat tip to Jeff Goins for writing an entire book about this concept!)

Before reading this list though, I want you to promise that you're going to do one of them today.

Deal? Great.

Here you go:

1. Leave a post-it note on her phone that says something you love about her.
2. Send her a text message that says nothing but how much you can't wait to kiss her when you see her next.
3. Write her a hand-written note about 3 ways she makes you happy.
4. Finish some little chore that she's been stressing about.
5. Call or email someone who she misses. Ask that person to schedule a time to get dinner with your wife while you take care of the house and kids. Give them a few options of times that should work. Then ask that person to reach out to your wife to schedule it.
6. Write her a short poem. Keep it simple. Even something like “Roses are red; Violets are Blue; How did I get so lucky to marry you” would suffice. Make it fun or personal.
7. Take a walk with her. And hold hands. There's a power to holding hands. An energy. It's soothing. It connects you. Initiate it.

Simple, right? What's your excuse now?

Let me know which one you did in the comments and how it went!

And leave some other suggestions in the comments while you're at it, will ya!?!

I need all the help I can get!

So I was perusing my blog feed reader the other day when I came across a compelling blog post title by The Dating Divas.

(Yes, I subscribe to the Dating Divas RSS feed! I am also a proud member of the Happy Wives Club even though my wife isn't… yet.)

50+ Secrets of a Great Marriage, the title read.

Like any terrible husband that title intrigued me.

Naturally, I clicked over.

Jackpot!

50+ wives married anywhere from 1 to 60 years each sharing a nugget of wisdom about how to have a great marriage.

I like nuggets.

And wisdom.

There are some great insights into love and marriage over there, including a few that made me think, or laugh, like:

When in a fight get naked. You can’t be mad at someone naked 😉 {Marissa, married 3 years}

[Ha! Cute.]*

*DISCLAIMER: Do not try this when arguing with buddies, in a work meeting, or if you're arguing on bluetooth on the ride home, as the results will likely range from “ineffective” to “felonious.”

If you have kids or struggle avoiding arguments in public, you might agree to only fight naked. That would force you to either save your discussion for when you're home alone or get arrested for indecent exposure…

Hint: Choose home alone.

Learn to keep your mouth shut sometimes 😛 {Tiffany, married 6 years}

[Yep. Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing.]

Choose to love your spouse each and every day. And then show them that love. Don’t assume they know you love them. {Bill and Jenn, married 17 years}

[Read that last sentence twice.]

And, finally:

Be nice to each other! It’s shocking how many people forget that.” {Dana, married 28 years}

[That last one pretty much checks all the boxes. Simple and flexible.]

Pretty cool stuff.

Dana gets it. I imagine her husband gets it. It works in all contexts.

Argument? OK to disagree, but be nice.

Bringing up something that might be difficult to talk about? Be nice.

Tired? It's OK to ask for help or a break, but be nice, not entitled.

And, really, what's the alternative? Like… how are you going to argue the opposite of “be nice to each other” being an effective way to live?

I've been reading everything I can get my hands on about marriage, love, relationships, manhood, and parenting over the last year or so.

I'll continue to share lessons, resources, ideas, and other things that impact me in my efforts to lead a movement of people who commit to stop pointing fingers and start taking personal responsibility over improving their relationships. I've shared several books with you over the last years. I'll continue to do that. But I will also be sure to include more blogs and other resources that have impacted me, like today!

There's some good stuff happening over at the Dating Divas site. Over 50 Secrets to a Great Marriage. I'm sure you'll love it.

Be sure to check it out and share your favorite from their list in the comments.

Or add your own!

A few weeks ago I was one of a few fortunate bloggers to receive a free copy of Kathi Lipp's new book, i need some help here! HOPE for When Your Kids Don't Go according to Plan.

I have been reading everything I can get my hands on from a parenting perspective, as our two very-high-energy kids present quite the challenge to both my wife and me on a daily basis. So I was naturally extremely happy to score a copy of i need some help here! to collect some wisdom from someone who has walked in my wife's shoes, get a sense of what my wife might be experiencing with our kids when I'm at work, and gain some pearls of wisdom on how to improve my parenting skills.

When I read a book I generally look for one big takeaway that I can apply to my life right away. And while that was not very difficult to find here, I was surprised to find that my greatest takeaway was more of a marriage lesson than a parenting one tucked in the middle of a story Kathi shared from Milaka Falk.

The story is one of a pretty aggressive tantrum during which her child bit, hit, flopped, and screamed his way through Wal-Mart on a TP run. I certainly related to the tantrum story. But what struck me most was Milaka's husband's response when she told him the story (and showed him her bruises – OUCH!).

My husband sat down and had a pretty intense heart-to-heart. He said that I was his wife and that he was in charge of taking care of me and protecting me, and he would do that no matter what. He said if Buddy ever hurt me again, he'd have to answer to my hubby. He didn't do this in a threatening way, but he did make his point.

I wasn't moved by the fact that her husband had a tough conversation with Buddy.  That would have happened in my home for sure.

But the “angle” he took with it surprised me.

I'm sure that I would have had the conversation from my son's perspective. (i.e. “Don't hurt your mother.).

But the perspective taken by Milaka's husband is pretty amazing and refreshing. Very different from what I expected, but I can see how it sets a tone that the parents are “one” and will protect each other.  And it says a lot about how her husband feels and thinks.

A nice little reminder of the commitment I made to protect my wife and the necessity to be united in our parenting. And an awesome mindset to have as a husband in general. Something I definitely need to adopt more consistently.

Husbands: How would you handle a conversation like this after one of your kids disrespected your wife? Pretty awesome job by Milaka's husband, no?  Am I the only one who would have “your mothered” the conversation?

Wives: I'd love to hear your thoughts on this – the effect it would have (if any) on you emotionally to hear your husband tell your child that you were his wife and he will protect you versus “don't hurt your mother” for example.

To me, it feels pretty different. And pretty powerful for your marriage while setting a tone (and example) for what your sons to do and daughters to expect when they're older.

I'd love to know your thoughts in the comments.

For those of you who haven't scored a copy, the book is on sale right now at Amazon and several other book stores. So check it out.

While I only shared the story that hit me closest, I'm sure you'll relate to several stories in the book. Kathi spends a lot of time exploring the emotions of a frustrated, overwhelmed, or scared parent through her strong Christian faith. She includes prayers, suggestions for when to pray, and numerous references to scripture relating to parenting challenges.

She also includes several stories from other mothers of their challenges and how they overcame difficult times with their children, stories from her own life, and practical wisdom and reflection to help guide newer parents (like me) or parents who are facing challenges from teenage or older children.

Check it out! Here's a little more info about Kathi and the book!