If you're anything like me, you've wasted way too much time on those viral video sites about something amazing happening three minutes into a video or a five year old “out breakdancing a professional street performer.”

Most of the time, it's interesting but not life changing. Every once in a while though, one of those sites gives you something useful other than a lesson on how to draft a blog post title…

And when it's about marriage or “not being a crappy husband,” it inevitably ends up in my inbox. Yeah… I'm now known by friends and family as the one who needs and is most receptive to advice in the area.

That's ok. There are worse things to be known for, right Lindsay Lohan?

Well a couple of weeks ago we struck gold with 10 Habits of Happy Couples, by Dr. Mark Goulston, a psychiatrist, “international speaker” (sounds fancy…), and best-selling author of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, and 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in Love Again.

“Dude's got some street cred',” if you ask me. 🙂

Let's see how I stack up in the Happy Couple Habit Counter (See what I did there with the Hs and Cs? No charge for that creativity. But feel free to send over some bitcoins if you enjoyed it that much.  Email me at nick@aterriblehusband.com and I'll send you my account info… )

And here's the podcast episode where I talk a little bit more about this list! To subscribe to the podcast you can head on over to iTunes or Stitcher.  You can also listen to more episodes on Facebook, or right here on the site!

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1. Go to bed at the same time. Pass. We generally are in bed awake at the same time and fall asleep around the same time. But we don't get into bed together at the same time every night. Maybe it's time to try this.

2. Cultivate common interests. Fail. We suck at this. I like sports. She likes “not watching sports.” She likes the beach. I like “not being at the beach.” I like “rustic stuff like being in the woods.” She likes “places where there are no bugs.” We both like fruit picking. But I generally like to do mine at the super market. Plus, how much fruit can 4 people eat?!?! Need to work on this. I guess apple picking is sort of like hiking in the woods but with a cover charge and overpriced fruit. Maybe there's hope.

3. Walk hand in hand or side by side. Pass. We're usually pretty good at walking together and holding hands, although we can't agree on hand-holding technique. She's a finger-wrapper and I'm a fingers together and hands angled guy. Having fingers in between my fingers is just uncomfortable… (Are we the only couple with finger placement incompatibility?)

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode. Barely Pass. You know the title of this blog, right? Let's just say we're working on this. Not with any of the “big things,” but years of putting the family on the back burner aren't just forgotten overnight…

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong. Pass. Pretty good at this and getting better.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work. Fail. I'm 1 for 5 on a good week. Definitely something to work on. As it is, walking into the house after work is a pretty hectic event. Kids running at me. Wife's tired. I'm beat up after a long day of work and fighting traffic. A pause and a hug are probably just what the doctor would order in that moment. I'm going to work hard on this.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning. Pass. When she's awake we're 9 for 10.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel. Pass. We're pretty good with this too.

9. Do a “weather” check during the day, calling your wife during the day to see how she's doing. Pass. 4 times per week at least.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner. Pass, at least. I am. I think she is. I'm kind of afraid to ask…

So there you have it. Not a report card that I would want. I had originally given me actual letter grades but that was ugly… lots of Bs and Cs. Only a couple As.

So I changed it to pass/fail so I could feel better and so you can let me know how you did in the comments!

Here's the article again in case you want to check it out.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Who is the last person you thanked for doing exactly what you expected from them and nothing  more?  For doing exactly what they were supposed to do?

Like a real thank you.  Not just “thx” in a “txt msg.”

Sadly, both of my answers were “a stranger” for a long time.

Strangers got more “thank yous,” more doors held, more smiles and more “no problems” and “my pleasures” than my wife did for a long time.

They did get less “love yous,” but every once in a while I'd mix one in after a really great customer service call.  It's pretty fun.  Sometimes awkward….  But if you do it casually enough every once in a while you get an instinctive “love you too” back…. try it sometime…

Before I realized I was a pretty crappy husband I hadn't opened a car door for my wife in months.  When I hardly knew her I opened them all the time.

When she was a stranger.

But after years of falling more and more in love with her I got comfortable and began treating her worse than I did when I hardly knew her.

That makes no sense.

I understand that courting usually involves extra effort.

I understand that when you fall in love you get comfortable.

And I understand that there's a beauty to that comfort.

But getting comfortable doesn't mean you have to stop the courting, like I did.

I might have opened doors for her when we went to a store, but I really don't remember.

I know I open the door for strangers because I'm conscious about it.

It is time I become conscious about making sure there are no longer things I do better for strangers than for my wife.

So here's my mission for today:

Give my wife all the courtesies I gave her when she was a stranger and I was courting her.

We have a doctor's appointment for our son today.

There will be lots of doors to open (and car doors, too…).

There will be lots of “thank yous.”

And there will be lots of  “let me carry that for yous.”

Today, we're dating again.

Tomorrow, too.

And the next day.

Then back to normal.

Just kidding.

What about you?  What little things can you do today to make her feel more special?