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It is a tradition in our home that when we have lots of people sitting around our dining room table for a meal, we have a jar on the table full of questions.  Before we dig into the food, each person chooses a question from the jar so he/she can contemplate the answer.  When the meal is finished we sit at the table and take turns answering the question we have received.

Now there are a few rules:

1.  No one is allowed to insert his/her own experience or answer to this question unless asked specifically to do so.

2.  Don’t even think about interrupting! Wait your turn.

3.  Really listen to what is being said. You may learn something new about that person you hadn’t known before.

4.  Don’t take twenty minutes giving your answer.  Be respectful of others and limit your time to no more than two minutes.  It’s longer than you think!

This table game is great for learning more about friends and family.  It is also a good exercise for listening and for sharing (briefly, not in monologues).  The questions can have a theme or can be general.  We have, through the years, changed them to fit the group, the theme or the ambience we wanted to create.

We are approaching the time of year when one’s thoughts go to gratefulness and thanksgiving and then to giving and receiving gracefully.

Lots of opportunities to have a jar of questions on your table that make a meal more than food and drink.  We have had some memorable experiences, laughs and deep discussions come from doing this game.  But let me suggest a twist on this family tradition.

One year we simply didn’t have much money for gift giving.  So I got creative about what to do for the most special person in my life….my hubby.  I got a stately container (suitable for a man’s desk) and constructed 31 quotations, words of wisdom and love, placed them into the container and wrapped it for him for Christmas.  His instructions were to begin each of his days reading one of the slips of paper I had lovingly hand-written specifically for him and to know I did each one with prayer and the hopes that the words from my heart would brighten his day.  It was a gift that kept on giving.

You don’t have to have a lot of money to make your life meaningful and adventurous.

We have had people beg to be included in family nights and dinner parties because they know we don’t sit around trying to create inane chit-chat or play on our cell phones.  We stimulate great communication by asking pointed questions and getting honest information from the heart.  And we have learned to give gifts of love that include sharing and listening.

What topics would you like to discuss at a dinner party?

What could you put in a container to let someone you love know you are thinking of them daily and giving them a piece of your heart?  This could be done for a child who is away at college, a long-distance relative, a friend laid up with illness or recovering from an accident.  The list is endless.  Get creative this holiday season and think of ways to make this year’s Thanksgiving and Christmas more memorable and joyful.