How to apologize…

How to ApologizeIn case you're wondering, on a scale of 1 to 10, the moment you realize you're a terrible husband is somewhere around “watching a puppy get hit by a car.”

My natural instinct was to apologize.

But how do you apologize for so many years of being a moron?

I had no idea.  Plus, I wasn't ready to say it out loud.

For once I was thinking clearly.  I decided not to apologize.

Instead, I decided to just start being a better husband.

Simple enough, right?

So I did.

I didn't say a word.

I just started doing more.

Less than two days later she thanked me.

That felt awesome.  It was working.  I was being a better husband!

Then she asked me a question I wasn't ready to hear:

“What happened?”

“What are you talking about,” I asked.

“You've been so wonderful this weekend,” she replied.  Yes, those were her exact words.

That felt pretty good.  And bad.  If she notices enough of a difference in less than two days to ask “what happened,” she must have been pretty frustrated for a while….

I had a decision to make.  How do I respond?  The truth was “Yes, something happened.  I realized I was a moron and I'm really, really sorry.”  But it was too soon.  I wasn't ready.

I paused.  And then I decided against saying anything.

“Nope, nothing happened,” I casually responded.

Then I changed the subject.

She knew I was sorry.

I didn't need to say it.

Because I showed her.

When's the last time you said you were sorry?    Did it do anything?  

(HINT: If you've apologized for the same thing more than once, that's an indication that the apology was short-lived at best.)

What could you do today to show her you're sorry?

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