Marriage Check-ups, Safe Accountability, and An Exciting Site Announcement

Check-UpsI strongly agree with Charles “Tremendous” Jones when he said that five years from today you'll be the same person you are today except  for the people you meet and the books you read.  Because of that I want to read more great marriage content and meet more inspiring people.  And I want to help you do that, too.

So I'm starting something this week on the blog with a little help from my friends. In addition to my once-per-week writing on Monday mornings, I have recruited several great contributors to post with me on the site. I will be adding their names to a special page where you can connect with them and easily find author-specific posts if you would like!  Some are established writers. Some, like me, are not.

Some have been married for decades. Some much shorter.

But they're all committed to the same cause. And sharing stories to help inspire, encourage, and equip you to improve your relationships as we improve ours openly no matter where we are on the “terrible” to “terrific” scale.

Today is the first post!  This one is by my friend Marcus Kusi!  I have another incredible treat for you on Wednesday and a third on Friday!  Be sure to check back then.  My next post will go live next Monday morning!

Be sure to connect with Marcus in the comments and through is site, which is linked at the end!

— Nick

Every relationship, parenting, marriage, or friendship, needs some form of accountability. In marriage, being accountable to the person that knows you best and still loves you can be one of the best things if you let it.

One thing about being married is that your spouse becomes accountable to you, and you also become accountable to him/her. It can either be great news or very intimidating to know this after you say “I Do.”

Whether it's over-spending, entertaining thoughts of another person, or just having someone help you on your journey of healthy living, having your spouse there to give you an extra push or rein you in when needed is a plus!

By being able to come to each other in a safe environment that is free of judgement is so important and beneficial for you, your spouse, and your marriage. It helps bring you closer together as you get to know each other on a deeper and more intimate level.

In a healthy relationship, this opens the doors of communication for growth as a person, and becoming unified.

One way to be accountable to each other is through a regular marriage checkup. Having regular conversations (marriage check ups) will help safe guard your marriage. It keeps you connected and aware of what is going on in your marriage.

If your spouse feels they might be getting a little too close to another person, or seeking attention from someone outside your marriage, a marriage check up is a great place to express that.

By doing this, we believe you can “catch things” ahead of time before they turn into bigger problems down the road.

Will accountability be easy?

Maybe, maybe not, but:

  • It's going to take honesty and trust. You have to be willing to be an open book with your spouse.
  • It's going to take an open mind. You have to be both willing to listen to what your spouse is saying, and not get defensive or judgmental yourself. Remember it's not personal.
  • It may be tough to hear, but it's for the betterment of your marriage.
  • It's going to take intentionality. You have to pay attention to yourself, and your marriage. If you sense something is off, unbalanced, or could use improvement then say something and do something about it.

Having accountability in marriage is a MUST for a healthy and happy marriage.

Here are some simple tips to help you, and your spouse become accountable to each other.

1. Identify areas of your life and marriage you both need accountability for.

2. Let each other know about these areas, and discuss them.

3. Ask your spouse to keep you accountable.

4. Let them review and assess the areas you need accountability for.

5. Make your home a safe environment for accountability.

6. Be quiet and listen when your spouse is talking.

7. Be honest with the constructive feedback you give, and receive each others feedback with enthusiasm. Feedbacks will allow you to access what you might be doing wrong.

Due to the availability of room for improvement in anything in life, my wife and I strive to always move forward, not backwards. We continue to learn, and grow in holding each other accountable in a loving, supportive, and understanding way.

Accountability with your spouse will help you prevent extramarital affairs, improve your communication, listening skills, stay on track with your marriage goals, and help you build a healthy and happy marriage.

Be accountable to each other in everything you do!

Question: Are you accountable to your husband or wife?

About Marcus:

Marcus blogs with his awesome wife at Our Peaceful Family. Together, they help newlyweds adjust to married life, while building a strong foundation for their marriage. They also help couples choose a theme for their family, and co-host The First Year Marriage Podcast. Follow him on FacebookTwitter, and Pinterest.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.