A few months ago, I got a package from a friend and mentor. In it was a very nice note and a copy of Michael Hyatt`s fabulous book Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World. The book was even signed by Michael. Very, very cool. Very thoughtful.
My friend sent it to me as a resource for growing my online presence so I can help influence others like me to stop pointing fingers and start taking personal responsibility for improving their marriages.
The book does that, for sure. It’s a great book on blogging, social media, and other ways to build a platform.
But a funny thing happened as I was reading this business book. I learned several important lessons about my marriage.
One of the most helpful marriage lessons comes from the Michael's discussion of product development, in which he urges entrepreneurs to create only “wow” products that exceed expectations:
How often have you rushed something to market with a sigh and a collective, ‘Well, I guess that will have to do. It’s not great, but it’s good enough’? Sadly, we don’t start with a lofty vision. I’m afraid we have become content with mediocrity; we aim low and execute even lower.
I immediately related to this from a business perspective. But something kept drawing my eyes back to that quote as I attempted to read on. My eyes kept moving, but my mind wasn’t keeping up with me. It was still thinking about that quote. I couldn’t figure out why. I don’t settle for “good enough” at work. And I won’t settle for “good enough” in my businesses either. I get it. So why couldn’t my brain move on?
And then it hit me. It's my marriage.
I’ve settled for mundane, routine, “good enough,” way too many times in my marriage. [click to tweet]
Valentine's Day was historically a card with a messy “Love, Nick” scribbled on the card. Not this year 🙂
“Goodnight” was often me falling asleep on the couch or blurting a quick “luvya” as I turned away from her to curl into a ball and listen to a podcast or think about the next day’s work until I fell asleep.
The day was over. We were all still alive. And we were still married. It’s not great. But it was good enough.
Those were my standards.
I aimed way too low.
I wouldn’t accept less than “wow” in business. So why would I accept less for my marriage? [click to tweet]
I shouldn't. I wouldn’t. So I won’t.
In a podcast episode discussing this concept, Michael discusses five questions you can ask to go from good enough to “wow.”
I've adapted them a little bit to apply to creating a “wow marriage” and encourage you to consider them in your mind or in the comments below. Get creative.
Start small: Try it with your next date night. Don't have a date night scheduled? Schedule one. And then plan it with these five questions in mind.
Question #1: What is the experience I want to create or transform into an amazing one?
Question #2: How will my wife feel as a result of this experience? (In other words, what is the specific outcome you want to create?)
Question #3: Typically, what specific expectations does the typical wife bring with her to this experience?
Question #4: What does failing to meet my wife's expectations for this experience look like?
Question #5: What does exceeding my wife's expectations for this experience look like?\
My marriage will no longer be just “good enough.”
How about yours?