Who is the last person you thanked for doing exactly what you expected from them and nothing more? For doing exactly what they were supposed to do?
Like a real thank you. Not just “thx” in a “txt msg.”
Sadly, both of my answers were “a stranger” for a long time.
Strangers got more “thank yous,” more doors held, more smiles and more “no problems” and “my pleasures” than my wife did for a long time.
They did get less “love yous,” but every once in a while I'd mix one in after a really great customer service call. It's pretty fun. Sometimes awkward…. But if you do it casually enough every once in a while you get an instinctive “love you too” back…. try it sometime…
Before I realized I was a pretty crappy husband I hadn't opened a car door for my wife in months. When I hardly knew her I opened them all the time.
When she was a stranger.
But after years of falling more and more in love with her I got comfortable and began treating her worse than I did when I hardly knew her.
That makes no sense.
I understand that courting usually involves extra effort.
I understand that when you fall in love you get comfortable.
And I understand that there's a beauty to that comfort.
But getting comfortable doesn't mean you have to stop the courting, like I did.
I might have opened doors for her when we went to a store, but I really don't remember.
I know I open the door for strangers because I'm conscious about it.
It is time I become conscious about making sure there are no longer things I do better for strangers than for my wife.
So here's my mission for today:
Give my wife all the courtesies I gave her when she was a stranger and I was courting her.
We have a doctor's appointment for our son today.
There will be lots of doors to open (and car doors, too…).
There will be lots of “thank yous.”
And there will be lots of “let me carry that for yous.”
Today, we're dating again.
And the next day.
Then back to normal.
What about you? What little things can you do today to make her feel more special?