This past month has been extra challenging…
We moved to a new house…
In a new state…
With a new routine…
And don’t forget the house projects… The ongoing house projects…
But, in retrospect, the most challenging part hasn’t been any of the new stuff… (although changing out all the door hinges was a close second…)
I was the most challenging part.
I got lazy.
I lost focus.
I played the blame game.
I thought my struggle related to the new house and all the new projects.
I thought my struggle related to working with my son with his transition.
Turns out it wasn’t any of that stuff.
It was just me.
I was the problem.
And that’s OK.
Because I know that I’m also the solution.
I was the problem because I lost sight of the reasons why this is so important.
I knew “what” I had to do to be a better husband.
I kept reminding myself “what” I had to do.
I had to get up.
I had to help more.
I had to get over my fear of commitment.
But I wasn’t doing it as much as I needed to.
I sort of just coasted…
And coasting sucks.
Then I realized that my issue was that I lost sight of why doing those things was important to me.
So yesterday I changed my morning routine to focus on “my why.”
Because all the “whats” in the world don’t matter if you lose track of your “why.”
I still wake up at the same time.
But instead of immediately slide-stepping* out of the room to grab a cup of coffee and start reading and writing, I quickly looked over at my still-sleeping wife to consciously remind myself of “my why.”
I then slide-stepped out of the room and poked my head briefly into each of my kids’ rooms for the same reason.
Then back to my regularly-scheduled morning programming.
This time with a proper perspective.
Works like magic.
*In case you’re wondering, I am about as graceful as a a three-legged rhino. Apparently the only way I can move without waking up everyone in a three-mile radius is the “slide-step.” Took me years to figure that one out. If you’re in the same boat as me and want to wake up earlier than the rest of your house, try mastering the “slide-step.”
What causes you to lose focus?
Don’t forget your why.