021: How Small Changes to how you Listen, Learn, and Love can Improve Your Relationship Fast.

Susie Miller shares lessons from her new book to help us improve our relationships in 30 days or less.

In this episode of the Confessions of a Terrible Husband podcast I talk with Susie Miller, author of the book Listen, Learn, Love: How to Dramatically Improve Your Relationships in 30 Days or Less, which is about how to develop the three important skills to improve your relationship fast.

Susie talks with me about listening well, learning about your spouse, and loving them in a way that promotes stronger relationships.

She shares stories from her personal life and book and talks about some pretty cool bonuses for folks who buy her book around the release date, so tune in for those details, too.

It’s a fun chat so be sure to check it out.  And also be sure to connect with Susie about her book, which you can find through the link at the top of the post, on Amazon, and pretty much every other retailer around!

I really enjoyed our chat and the book, which I read in less time than it takes to watch a baseball game on TV.

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020: Are Your Habits Helping or Hurting Your Marriage?

Gretchen Rubin shares incredible lessons from her unique study of habits

In this episode of the Confessions of a Terrible Husband podcast I talk with New York Times Best Selling Author Gretchen Rubin about how we can use her new book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, to improve your relationship.

Be sure to check out her website and podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin.

I firmly believe that Gretchen’s book can have a similar impact on relationships to The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman because it not only helps you understand yourself, but it also provides insight into the mind of your spouse.

The book emphasizes that there are several ways to make or break habits and not all of them will work for you all the time based on your personal tendencies. Gretchen introduces the four tendencies that each of us have, which she calls the “Four Tendencies” and which describe how a person responds to expectations.

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How would you describe your family…in just one word?

Marcus Kusi shares how picking a family theme can form a foundation for success

This is a post by Marcus Kusi, from Our Peaceful Family, who shares a simple story how and why to choose a family theme. It’s a nice, simple concept that can provide a lot of value for making family choices moving forward by providing the basis upon which to make tough decisions by asking ‘does this fit within our family theme.’ Check it out!

How would you describe your family... in just one word-Remember the last time you had that delicious meal from your favorite restaurant?

I bet you could describe the taste in just one word if you were asked to.

(Even if it was 10 years ago)

And could easily describe it into detail if needed; from the smell and touch, to the taste it left in your mouth.

But have you ever wondered how people described your family?

What thoughts come to your mind?

A happy, peaceful, chaotic, or the family that can not be described.

Chances are you probably cannot describe your family in one word.

And is that okay for you?

How would you describe your family in one word?

Yes, just one word!

Anything more than that can mean something broad but let the description of your family be just one word. As in, delicious for your favorite meal.

This unique word that describes your family is what we call a family theme.

Its very descriptive, and presents a unique way for your family to be identified, and raved about.

Choosing a theme for your family.

You might be asking, “what is your family theme?”

Ours is a peaceful family.

We decided on this theme due to the lifestyle we want to live, the marriage we want to build, and the environment we want to raise our kids in.

The above 3 factors have played a big role in our marriage, family, and home.

For example, Ashley and I had different marriage expectations before we got married. But because we were able to choose a family theme we both agreed on, it made it easier for us to compromise on our marriage expectations.

And as result, whenever we have any issues, we simply refer to our family theme to put ourselves in check.

We also ask each other whether the manner in which we talk to each other, and the decisions we make will help us continue to have a peaceful family.

3 simple questions to help you choose a theme for your family.

1. What do you want people to think of when they hear about your family?

2. How do you want your family to be described in one word?

3. How do other people describe your family in one word?

You and your spouse( if married) should agree or compromise on one theme for your family. It will be certainly provide another way to grow and stay together as a family.

If you need help or guidance, as always, feel free to ask in the comments section.

Is your family theme SMART?

Before you decide on what your family theme should be, think about the pros and cons your family theme will have on you, your spouse, your marriage, your family, and society.

If it has any negative effects, kindly disregard it, and choose a theme that is positive.

Your family theme should meet the goal setting criteria based on the S.M.A.R.T. principle.

It should be SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ATTAINABLE, REALISTIC, and TIME BOUND.

Your family theme must be specific (simple), measurable (how will describe its results or progress be measured), attainable (can it be done, is it actionable,), realistic (real not vague or something impossible like a perfect family, no one is perfect), and time bound (when should the theme be seen by others, or reflect your family actions, image etc.)

Hence, by ….. day, month, or year, you and your spouse need to assess your family theme to see if you followed through all your action steps and where you went wrong in either applying or choosing your theme.

Having a family theme will inspire you to become a better person.

It would also be the cornerstone upon which your family is built, nurtured, and described.

Our family theme has been the barometer we use in making choices for our family, and enhanced our marriage and family in ways we never imagined.

Spend some time this weekend with your spouse and/or family, and a choose a theme that resonates with your marriage and family.

You will be proud you did.

Do you have a theme for your family? What about your marriage?

If not, what are you waiting for? If yes, share it with us below.

The Value of Creating (and Working Through) a “Honey-Do” List

This is another post by Joanne Miller. If you’re wondering, I’m the guy she’s (unintentionally) referencing who doesn’t own a tool box and can’t do much more than screw in a lightbulb. I’m pretty awesome at demo (cleared 2 kitchens, a closet, and a bathroom vanity in no time…).

But beyond that I’m clueless…. Youtube has helped. But most jobs get outsourced or done by my wife, who is pretty awesome with spackle, paint, sanders, and ladders. She also has way more patience with home repair than me.

Be sure to let us know how this works in your house! I need help.

©Depositphotos.com/.shock

©Depositphotos.com/.shock

Small procrastinations lead to major explosions.

How long is your “Honey Do!” list?

How often have you wished your spouse would quit nagging you to fix the rattle in the floor vent, the leaky faucet, the squeaky bathroom door or change the furnace filter?

Does your list get longer and longer and you never seem to remember or get the time to do all the chores?

An even more important question is WHY haven’t you fulfilled those requests?

This morning I mentioned a couple of things that I would like Dan to give attention to when he has time. Now Dan is a busy man. He has people pulling him in a zillion different directions all week long.

It seems reasonable that he should have his evenings and his weekends to sit back, turn on the tube, guzzle a brew and relax a bit.

But that isn’t the way it works in our home.

Aside from the fact that he watches very little TV and he doesn’t “guzzle a brew,” if there is something that needs to be done around the house that requires his attention, he does it without complaint and in quick order.

If it is important to me, it is equally important to him. [tweet this]

So today I mentioned the back storm door latch is loose and the door doesn’t shut properly, allowing all kinds of creepy crawlies into the house and one of the in-house vacuum system plug-in thingys isn’t working. It happens to be the one I would use most if the silly thing worked.

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